The fairy tale about how I snowboarding mastered D:

All total hello!
I would like to tell such a story that happened to me, associated with such a sport as Snow, his mother, Bording. It happened to me yesterday. Honestly, yesterday I wanted to write a post, but I could not for a number of reasons for which all the FSUs. Sorry for the fact that Sliiiiiysh a lot of beech, but if you are not too lazy to read, then please. If lazy, then suck your leg and leave this topic.
In short, it was like this, I and I, with this Slav, but with my friend) decided to ride a snowboard, and for the first time in my life. We rode well on skateboards, so we thought that it would be absolutely as simple as it would be as simple as it was a slope on the asphalt, well, we agreed to go to the slope on Sunday a week before. Cunning immediately began to play in me, they say, if I come before and I will get involved, I will be more experienced and smarter than glory. Yeah, dick there! Well, okay. It all started from the very beginning – when I came to place, it turned out that for the use of the lifter it was necessary to pay a card, which, of course, did not have. I asked a good man who stood at the turnstile, blocking the lift, how to climb the slope. In my eyes, this man ceased to be kind after he told me that he would have to climb a steep slope. I will say more, I was offended by this person. Fuck with him! I climbed upstairs quickly – in 40 minutes. -__- But do not rush to laugh at me, because when I came there, they demanded a passport for the rental of a snowboard. I perfectly understood this, but to my Great Unfortunately, I didn’t have it. Your mother! I had to go back. I left the same way as I came. It was not for nothing that my fifth point felt something was amiss, because no matter how I tried to gently losop, I got a masterpiece seno with a fall to the fact that I felt something was wrong. Have you ever seen a sausage from a mountain rolling? So I was this very sausage. And you know, now I think that it was even more fun and less painful than what awaited me ahead. Fortunately, I lived not far, so I returned after half an hour. When I looked around this steep mountain again, I swore about five minutes. You know, she seemed to me Everest, and Everest with the outlines of the trollfaces. Introduced? Funny? But I don’t, I gritter my teeth and cursing everything around I climb this fucking mountain. Yes! I did it! I conquered this snow scum twice! I went to the house, where I went to the snowboardingA la Fuck Yeah“because nothing was prevented to me from buying this fucking board. Yes, I purchased a plank for one hour, in addition to this I was offered points for 100 rubles and 10 lifts to the mountain on the same map. 10 lifts I myself chose, I thought I have enough, I live cool. In any case, for those not used by a card, money is returned to me. When I rose further, but with this I no longer had a problem, cheers, I saw how masterful and cool other people ride. It seemed to me very beautiful. I was sure that I could also. Cut off, nasocher!. There were two descents – for beginners and for pros … Guess where I went. No, not for the first descent, I went to the second for pros. After I could not fix these fucking boots for 15 minutes, I realized that this descent was not for me. You have no idea how I am grateful to myself for a change in the decision, because I feel, I would have rolled up from there with snowboarding sticking out of the anus, which would be very ugly and painful. In general, I moved to another slope, there was 40 minutes left, I fixed the shoes well … I got up … I went ..
Well, how to say, “went”? You someday saw a snowboard pig in a ballet pack with ski glasses on your forehead in the summer skiing on asphalt? I am not either, but I also rolled out is ridiculous as it sounds. I swept exactly 4 seconds and, like a single acrobat-dilent in the circus, flew the kubarom along the descent. In my opinion, I flew even further than I swept, but at that moment I was not up to it. Honestly, it began to seem to me that I have now to stick my head in the snow, but good, it did not happen. You know, all my pride and sky -high chosv about my skills was washed away into the toilet. I thought it was so simple to get up and go. But hell! It is necessary to balance with the body, head, fingers, and even hair. But I did not know all this, since I did not have money for the instructor. Sitting in the snow 10 minutes. I gathered all my will into a fist and climbed the mountain. I was sure that from the second time I would succeed. Horseradish! Like Superman, I flew even further than the first time. He beat off the tailbone, back, knees, almost broke his hand. About the same I rolled up 2 more times. At those moments, I began to understand that I hate snowboarding fiercely. How did I want to find the asshole who came up with to stand on the board and slide off the mountain and cram this board to him between the buttocks, but not to pamper it, and would scroll yet for an orgasm! I wanted to blow up this mountain to the hell. Although, at those moments while I was flying, it seemed to me that I understand the meaning of life – to fall on the ass from a mountain on a board glued to your legs. Class, what. I had another 15 minutes left, but I cherished everything in a row went to this fucking house and gave them this board, glasses for which I paid 100 rubles, but never put on, well, and the card. With what high I put on my shoes. I put them on literally like socks. This is about the same feeling. When I left the house, I realized that it was waiting for me … Yes, the same slide on which I rose ..

BL#-#-#-#-#-Dy. C#ka, how I hate you. https://sistersitescasino.co.uk/casinos/regal-wins-casino/

I apologize, but in other words you can’t convey. I fell to my knees and began to pray to God. Is this the only way? God, not here! I don’t want! Saw the leg, toe! I did not find other ways, and there was too lazy. I did not slip a sausage, but a decaying bunch of manure. I won’t continue to write what I was talking about and what I thought about, because they will be banned and abused about the account, I just came to the stop and waited for the bus. At that moment, everything hurt me – my legs, arms, back, head, hair, and especially Ass. She was just hellish! As if 20 syringes with vitamin B12 each in 10 cubes were injected with me. After that, I began to negatively relate to everything related to snowboarding. I hate games on this topic, fucked up athletes, these rivets, these glasses, everything! At the bus stop, I was just no. I stood and did not move, I didn’t even get on the bench, well, you yourself understand why. I sent my friend to the ass, because on Sunday I would go alone with him.
In general, Paron, if there is an idea to ride a snowboard, think about 5 times before.
P.S. Why is it a blog of chicken? Yes, because I wonder if there were similar cases with you, well, to talk on this topic. Yes, in general, I write this for an hour and a half, show respect – dilute the srach of reason: 3. Throw vidos, pictures, jokes. Vooot.